Nobody should ever stand in the way of a parent and their child. Having said that, the man must accept responsibility as a parent and a lover in order to manage the connection between his baby mom and his new love interest. He may believe that he did not offer his ex a second opportunity in the relationship. Your partner may have had legitimate reasons for splitting up with his baby mom, but that doesn’t imply he is completely over her. He might just be using one of her aliases to search for her online.

The Real Reason Why Couples Break Up After Having A Baby

“The blame game antics are lame cover-ups,” says Klungness. “His choice to abandon his kids — emotionally or financially — should be an instant deal breaker.” You don’t want his baggage in your life. So while dating _should _be fun, exciting and a break from the tough parts of single motherhood, don’t get waste your time with anyone on this list. “A baby highlights the way each of you approach things — for better or for worse,” relationship expert Andrea Syrtash added. She revealed that couples who end up breaking up after the birth of their child would probably still end up splitting if that life change was replaced with a different challenge. Why not read books together to prepare for baby’s arrival or attend prenatal classes so you both know what to expect.

“Boyfriend not bonding with my child”

Many times, people who had issues with their mothers develop an insecure attachment style. Regardless of whether their parents are single because of death or divorce, kids don’t often take well to having a new person around. It’s not your fault, or anything personal – humans hate change, especially kids, and Dad dating is a big one.

No parents to help, only a semi helpful ex and an occasional sister that could step in. My situation was stressful and a lot of men didn’t seem to understand how much I put into coordinating going out. So don’t waste her time, is all I’m saying.

If you stay constant and solid while their mother is lashing out and full of drama, they will eventually figure it out. It’s time to get real with him about what your place is in his life. Is he willing to integrate you into his family or does he want you to forever be the outsider? It sounds like he has some guilt over his place in their lives and he is not giving you the place you deserve in his life. Zoe Shaw You said, spouse, but I’m guessing you mean partner. If you two aren’t married, you don’t have much say in his finances.

He’s an amazing dad too and he’s always danced to her tune but one half of me keeps thinking if he hated her so much why go to all the effort but the other part of me is like it’s for his child. He said she’s a psycho and she is rough, she’s the type to try and fight me and scream in the street. She knows I exist and acknowledges me, I’ve never met her though and we’ve never seen eachother in the flesh. I live with him too and his whole family knows about me and I’m on all the cards etc but I’m just worried that I’m more serious about this than he is. Shakeria White Hi Zoe, I am dating guy who is “separated” from his baby momma.

It’s fristraying for me to see this happening and when she disrespects me I don’t feel he backs me up. I don’t want to give up on him and I but I don’t want to stay in this relationship if this is how it will continue to be. Which is why I don’t want to date someone again who has kids. I don’t have kids, so I don’t want anyone with kids. The BM got into crystal meth, prostitution, into jail and the current husband of her’s was beating her up, etc. She’d disappear for a couple of months at a time, and the ex-bf daughter wouldn’t see or hear from her mom.

Problems were present before baby

“As your baby’s due date approaches, find a comfy chair, put your hand on your stomach, and enjoy the calm before the storm,” the site recommended. Carolyn Anderson discovered her passion for therapy while pursuing a degree in psychology, and she has been working to help people ever since. She has always found herself drawn to the complexities of human connection. Carolyn loves to engage with clients using dialogue-based therapy so they can work together on their own time frame and at their own pace. If this idea makes sense to both of you, then go for it. But make sure you are on the same page first before taking the next step.

But if you feel there is too much baby momma drama, then its best to steer clear and save yourself a headache. When you meet the baby’s mother, just be polite and cordial. It’s okay to let her know that you understand her concern about you being around her son and ask her if she has any questions about you that you could answer that would make her feel more comfortable.

Or, his kids start to manipulate him and have an upper hand in the family — and he lets them. Their personalities just don’t jibe—just like two adults do not naturally get along, this can be true for a child-adult relationship, too. Perhaps he wants to mostly keep his kids separate from his romantic life, or he is taking slower to blend his relationship with his home life.